Julia Haart from My Unorthodox Life: From Divorce Court to Catwalks—Reinventing Life After 50 With Power and Fearlessness

Julia Haart: 00:00:00

Every single day, I get yelled at for my clothes. I don't listen to them. I still wear the mini things I can and the most low cut things. Boobs out. Proud. An actual boyfriend or girlfriend.

They have to come to family day. And then everybody votes. Wow, a vote.

Roxy: 00:00:14

Okay.

Julia Haart: 00:00:15

You know, most of them have never been broken up with, so it's kind of fun doing all the breaking up.

Roxy: 00:00:20

And you did what you had to do. Didn't let the fear stop you.

Julia Haart: 00:00:23

I was supposed to have a life that was this small and I wanted a life that was this big.

Roxy: 00:00:27

So looking back at that 25 year old, what would you tell her now?

Julia Haart: 00:00:31

Run. Run, bitch, run.

Roxy: 00:00:36

Do you think you'll ever get to a point where you forgive him? In a way.

Julia Haart: 00:00:39

Truth has power. Truth wins. To my friends, my family, and meditation. I would not be here if not for those three things.

Roxy: 00:00:49

I think we need another TV show. I think we need like your reinvention.

Julia Haart: 00:00:53

Let me first get out of this divorce and then we'll see.

Roxy: 00:00:56

I'm already like calling Netflix. I'm like, let's get this going. Let's get this going.

What happens when you decide to blow up the rule book and rewrite your entire life on your own terms? Today I'm sitting down with Julia Hart. Yes, that Julia Hart.

The woman who went from a strict ultra orthodox community to a building a global fashion empire, starring in a hit Netflix series and refusing to apologize for any of it. We're diving into reinvention at any age. Owning your power when everyone doubts you, and creating a midlife that's anything but quiet.

If you've ever wondered what it really takes to start over and build an iconic second act, this episode will have you questioning everything you thought you knew about midlife. Welcome to the iconic midlife. How's your day going so far?

Julia Haart: 00:01:53

Wonderful.

Roxy: 00:01:55

Good. You've. You've been busy. I've been watching you on Instagram and doing all the things. What's, what's kind of lighting your fire right now?

Julia Haart: 00:02:05

Freedom. I am almost divorced.

I. I think unless we, if we manage to keep it within the time frame, my last appearance in divorce court should be September 12th.

So, you know, hopefully, you know, the judge, you know, then has to issue the written decision, but that generally happens within, I think 60 days is the timeline. So somewhere between September and November, I'm going to be a free woman.

Roxy: 00:02:37

Okay, what is the first thing you are going to do when you step out of court that day or when you hear the final final of everything?

Julia Haart: 00:02:44

What is this I'll be screaming like a banshee, jumping up and down, so excited with everything that I've won and that justice has been served and that finally, after all these years of fighting, the world actually knows, you know, what a criminal this guy is. And, you know, just what was done to me and how much was taken out of the companies and all of that. So I'm very. It's not just freedom, it's freedom.

It's vindication, it's justice. It's truth winning over lies. I mean, it's a big deal. And I think, you know, not to be speaking on behalf of other women, but I do.

You know, so many women have come over to me saying, we're in the middle of nasty divorce. We're like. Mine may be very public and a bit outrageous in the sense that, you know, three and a half years ago, Silvio accused me of everything.

I think I've got accused of everything. But witchcraft, like anything that's ever been thrown at a woman. Con artist, seductress. I didn't even know that was still a thing I was.

He accused me of misappropriating funds, stealing from the company, stealing the car that I actually paid for with my own premarital money. I mean, it was very crazy. And now here we are, there's two arrest warrants out for him. Hopefully there will be a third soon.

You know, he's fled the country. His passport has been taken away, his license has been revoked. If he tries to enter the country, he'd be arrested, I guess, at customs.

You know, the world knows that he's the bad guy. And that means a lot to me because for a while there, it was pretty ugly. And I like when truth wins. I like when justice wins.

And I think for a lot of women, seeing that you can win, seeing that you can come out better if you stay and fight. And it is very difficult. And it's certainly. They don't make it easy for you as a woman. No doubt.

I don't think any of this would have happened if I had with a guy, but it's okay. So I think my win is not just a win for me. I think it has already. You know, the part that I've already won has inspired so many women.

You know, I get messages all the time and DMs, like, I was going to give up. You know, I was about to give my husband everything he asked for. You've given me courage and faith to keep fighting.

So hopefully when the big win happens, that will really inspire other women. To keep fighting, to stand their ground. They know that what they're saying is true. Truth has power. Truth wins.

So, yeah, that's what I'm really ecstatically excited about. I want to be free.

Roxy: 00:05:28

Freedom. I think you are very due for a freedom party, like, at the end of all this.

Julia Haart: 00:05:33

Oh, my God, you know what I'm going to do? I've been talking about this now for literally three years.

This is because I didn't think it was going to take this long, obviously, because, I mean, I thought people would see through it immediately. You know, when the first thing started and he was making all these accusations like, no one's going to believe this.

I mean, there's a bajillion documents that show everything I've done didn't seem to matter. Four men against one woman. I didn't stand a chance, of course, until the documents were ready. But you see, look, it took three years for discovery.

Three years. You have to survive those three years. You have to make it through those three years.

So, you know, standing here today at the cusp of freedom feels really good. Oh, so my party that I forgot, I got on track. So I've been talking about celebrating this for a really long time. I went.

So, you know, my pop culture knowledge is growing, but still not perfect. And so I went to this exhibit a few years ago at the Brooklyn museum about Studio 54. And I'd never heard of Studio 54.

I didn't know what Studio 54 was. How would I would live in Muncie, right?

So when I first saw it and the way that it was portrayed in the Brooklyn Museum was this celebration of individuality and laissez faire, right? Where people don't judge. People don't judge each other. People come as they truly are. And there is this.

And I'm sure there was a lot of bad things that went on there. I know I was presented with a very idealized version of Studio 54. Like, I know there was drug and all that stuff that.

But from this perspective of, you know, come as you are, anything goes, be yourself. I love that idea. I am 54. So I decided for my freedom party, I'm going to recreate Studio 54.

Roxy: 00:07:37

How fun.

Julia Haart: 00:07:38

There's actually two living singers that I know of who performed in Studio 54 who are still performing today. And hopefully, once this is done, I will convince one of them to come and sing and perform at our Studio 54 party.

And it's just going to be this big freedom party.

Roxy: 00:07:56

God, that is so well done.

Julia Haart: 00:07:58

Yes, that's the plan.

Roxy: 00:08:01

That is the plan. That is like the goal of this whole. The end of all of this.

But when you're kind of in the thick of this, because I know a lot of especially midlife women are going through divorces, some contentious. All these crazy things. How are you getting through this?

When you know the truth, like you, you inside know that, but no one else does, like you feel like nobody else. So how do you get through that?

Julia Haart: 00:08:24

It's so crazy.

I, it's such a good question because I think people don't, you know, when you're outside of it, of course you don't feeling the same thing that the person who's going through the experience feels.

But that feeling that you know you're speaking the truth and you know you have mountains of evidence to back it up and nobody listens and nobody believes you and no one hears it because you're the woman and you're. And the man over there has his three buddies saying, oh yes, he's telling the truth. Four men against one woman. I mean, it's not a fair fight, right?

And it's so painful. And you feel like everything I've been through and I fought so hard and no one gave me anything. Let's just be honest here. I walked out of community.

I didn't have a degree, I didn't have any friends, I didn't know anyone. I built myself and my businesses with zero, literally zero. I started as a non human entity in the 21st century. No one had ever heard of me.

years, I built within. From: 2019

There was a bank who said this is a billion dollar business. We had an offer at 500 million. Like these are facts, right? So I've done all of that and accomplished all of that and just have a man saying shopping.

And that's all it took. That's all it took.

Roxy: 00:09:53

God.

Julia Haart: 00:09:55

I mean it, you know, it could have killed me. And I, And I know for a fact that he thought it would, right?

He, our first whistleblower that came forward, she told us that he and his, you know, little co conspirator group would sit there talking about how is she still doing it, how is she still alive? How is she surviving? We thought they all thought that I would fold.

They thought they would accuse me of everything under the sun, destroy my reputation and that they'd never have to prove anything because I wouldn't last Long enough for them to need discovery. I wouldn't last long enough for it to get to the point where they actually have to prove the accusations they were making.

I'm surviving in November of: 2022

When he could no longer hide the truth and we finally got access to the bank accounts, he disappeared.

Roxy: 00:11:02

Convenient.

Julia Haart: 00:11:04

Was not convenient. He fled the country. Literally fled the country. So he never thought he'd have to prove anything.

And the only way I survived, I would say, is threefold. And look, when I left my community, I did it by myself. I did it on my own. I didn't know anyone. I didn't tell anyone.

I was terrified that if I told my friends, they would tell my husband or a rabbi and they'd take away my kids. I. I didn't tell a single human being. I did it on my own. This time, when disaster struck, I wasn't alone. My kids are adults.

And if I tell you that I am standing here a winner today because of my children, especially my son Shlomo, this was really his time to shine. He had a full scholarship to a very fancy law school in Washington, dc. Full guy. He had a fabulous penthouse in the Upper east side.

He had a good life.

And when the shit hit the fan, my son decided he was not going to go to law school, did not renew his lease, moved in and said, I am not leaving until we win. And he stood next to me every single day. And when I was down and I felt like, how can this be happening?

And I wanted to just fall apart, he would remind me what we had gone through and how far we'd come. And he just held me up. And my daughters, of course, Batsheva. I mean, everyone, they were just there in every imaginable way. And you need your family.

You need your friends. My friends. You know who your real friends are when the shit hits the fan. And I have to tell you, I was completely wrong about so many people.

The people that I thought would stand behind me no matter what, and the people that I thought were my friends, they were newer friends or friends I'd made once. I was already famous. I wasn't sure.

Are they my friends because it's cool to be my friend or, oh, my gosh, the outpouring of real love that I received.

The amount of support, you know, like, as an example, like my friend Jill Zarin, you know, even in the beginning when everybody, you know, every paper you read, I was the con artist, I was a thief, I was a. This. She came out publicly. She would post about me anytime people ask Julie, I don't believe any of this. Julie is the most honest person I know.

Like, that is not an easy thing to do, you know. And so I would say, friends, family, and Dr. Joe Dispenza. Meditation.

Roxy: 00:14:03

Oh, were you a meditator before then or was that new?

Julia Haart: 00:14:07

No, not only was I not a meditator, I was vehemently closed off from even hearing about it because I thought it was another religion. Like whenever someone say, oh, you need to do this and this meditation, I'm like, no, sorry, I've had enough religion to last me 9 million lifetimes.

Do not talk to me about religion. And that's what it felt like to me. It felt like just another version of religion. Then. What I love about Dr. Joe Dispenza is that it's not religion.

It's not a Just believe. You're not just supposed to believe what this man says. He never puts out him.

He's not a guru or a rabbi or someone you have to follow or an intermediary to speak to God. He's a scientist, he's a doctor. And it's so much science, I think.

You know, science, you know, there's all of these new disciplines that didn't exist 20 years ago, right, that understand the correlation between mind, body. You know that you have receptors, you know, you have neural receptors in your immune system, and you have immunoreceptors in your brain.

The way we understood our body was wrong. Right? And everything is interconnected.

There's an amazing book called Molecules of Emotion that kind of explain how scientifically you could prove that how you think and feel could actually change your body. And what it's really about, more than meditation, it's about self mastery. And I guess what it does more than anything is it puts you in control.

Now, you can't necessarily control everything that happens to you on the outside, but you can choose how you feel about it on the inside.

And when you realize that feeling good just feels good, even when you have no reason to feel good, even if your life is absolute fucking hell and everything is going wrong and you can't pay your mortgage and people are accusing you and your husband stole everything from you. And whatever you have, if you can find a way to feel good, then, then no one can ever mess with you. You have to be solid on the inside.

And that's what Dr. Joe's method really teaches you, that if you can find a way to find joy, when there really externally doesn't seem to be much joy or much reason for joy, those things are going to still be there, but your energy isn't there. It's towards a better future. It brings that better future towards you. And it's literally they're proving us scientifically with data.

So I think those three things, my friends, my family, and meditation, those three things gave me the strength to survive. I would not be here if not for those three things.

Roxy: 00:17:17

Those are all very powerful things to have in your life.

And you know, I think a lot of women, especially in this time frame of life, maybe they want to reinvent, maybe they want to change careers, maybe they want to divorce that asshole that they're married to, but they feel stuck. You know, it's like this thing where they're afraid.

Julia Haart: 00:17:35

They're afraid? Yes.

Roxy: 00:17:36

And the fear. And the fear, yes. And how do you overcome that? How do you become unstuck fear?

Julia Haart: 00:17:45

Okay, so somewhere, I don't know how this has become like the human that if you don't worry or stress about something, then it's just going to get worse. Like this whole idea of preempting disaster, right? Think about it.

Let's say you're afraid you're going to lose your case, for example, or you're afraid you're not going to be able to survive financially if you leave your husband.

What you're basically doing is projecting the worst possible scenario into the future and then emotionally attaching yourself to that worst possible scenario, thinking that if you do that, then you're like, prepared. Here's the thing, you can never be prepared.

No matter how much you think you're prepared for disaster, when it strikes you're not prepared and preempting it and feeling all that stress before something happens, it doesn't do anything. Fear is the dumbest thing there is. Fear is the killer of hope. It is the killer of dreams. It is the killer of your future fear of the unknown.

You're never going to change anything in your life if you operate from fear. And I think that the only way I was full of fear.

ty until I would say, January: 2024

Literally would wake up inside a panic attack, heart pounding like this, covered in sweat, always terrified that someone was going to take away my business, was going to steal what I did that some guy would find a way. Way to take everything I had built. And then what ended up happening? Exactly what I was afraid of.

Some guy comes and takes away everything I did, and there it is. And how did all of that disaster help me? It didn't. I wake up excited every day, even though obviously I have. My divorce isn't over.

My husband has not abided by any of the court rulings. There are now nine court orders that he's just completely patently ignored.

And I have to wait until my final judgment to go and actually be able to actuate everything that's happened. And it's not easy. It's been really hard. I'm not afraid. I'm excited. I'm excited for my future. I'm excited for what's coming next.

I can't wait to be free. And that's what I choose to focus on. And if you tell yourself, I'm not going to be afraid, it's not going to work.

It's like someone says to you, don't think about elephants. What's the first thing you do? You think about elephants.

Roxy: 00:20:50

Right?

Julia Haart: 00:20:51

So the way to get rid of fear is not to decide you don't want to be afraid of it anymore. The way to get rid of fear is to replace it with something else.

So when you're feeling afraid, say to yourself and pushing it down, saying, no, no, no, I'm not afraid. That's not going to work either. You're just holding and storing it in. Talk to yourself about it. Okay, Julia, what is it that you're afraid of?

Say it out loud. And then say, well, that's not really a logical fear, because X because, Y because, Z because. And then let it go. Let it go.

Choose to feel like you're going to win before you win. And that's the only way. And I. I had to change 11 years of behavior and not be in a constant state of panic. And here I am. And my body feels good.

I feel good. I feel strong, because I know Sylvia can't touch what's in here.

Roxy: 00:21:53

I mean, if you're not there at this point yet, do you think you'll ever get to a point where you kind of. You forgive him in a way, for just all the awful?

Julia Haart: 00:22:02

So it's funny, you know, I don't really think it's a matter of forgiveness. It would be, do I hate him? I think is, like, meaning when I think of him, do I feel hate in my heart?

And I know this is gonna sound really weird because I kind of wish I did. Because that would be normal, right, for.

Roxy: 00:22:24

All the shit that he pulled. Yeah.

Julia Haart: 00:22:26

Yeah. I mean, I should hate him, but when I think about him, what I honestly feel, I want justice. I want to get everything that I deserve.

Going into court and asking for 100% of everything because he's taken out so much money that he really can't have equity in the company. That's our position. And we'll wait, obviously, and see what the judge says. So, obviously, I absolutely want justice. I want him to pay.

And if there were crimes committed, I want him to pay for those as well. But it's a feeling of justice. When I think about him as a person, I kind of just pity him. I just.

I kind of feel like his whole life has been about him. His needs, his desires, his wants. Don't think he has many friends. All the friends that I knew about, they've left him.

What kind of life is it to live so selfishly that your only consideration, the only factor you think about when you make a decision is yourself? That, to me, is not a lie. So when I think about him, yes, I think I would like justice. I want to get what I deserve. I don't hate him. I pity him.

I. I pity a person whose life is that small and that narrow, like, who's gonna cry when he dies.

Roxy: 00:23:56

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Julia Haart: 00:23:59

You know, that, to me, is like people say, oh, do you wish he would? No, I don't wish he was dead. Not at all? No.

Roxy: 00:24:06

How do your kids feel about him?

Julia Haart: 00:24:09

I think we kind of all feel the same way. Is just that, like, you know, hate only affects the person feeling it. Why should we exert energy and effort to hate?

I have plenty other things to do in my life. I don't have time for hate. It doesn't solve anything.

It certainly doesn't make me feel better, because then I have to relive all the things you've done so that I can keep hating him. I don't want to do that. That's the past. I want. I want there to be justice.

I want him to do consequences for his actions, legal consequences for his actions. I want the court to uphold the law.

Just because he's a man and he's, you know, wealthy by using my company's money doesn't mean he gets away with things. Wealth is not an excuse. Laws have to apply to you too, and all of that. So I'm very passionate about getting justice.

But when I think of him as a person, I just kind of feel bad for him.

Roxy: 00:25:11

Yeah, you know what, too?

You also strike me as a kind of person that no matter what kind of comes your way, you're able to take it, process it, you know, leave it where it needs to leave and continue. And continue.

Julia Haart: 00:25:24

Exactly. You gotta let it go. How can you go forward if you're, you're literally forget about luggage.

You've got a 400 pound weight of past trauma you're carrying with you. You're not going too far. You've got to let it go. And I know it feels good. And people define themselves by their trauma, right? I did.

I went through this and I suffered through that. And I did this, and this happened to me, and this happened to me.

If we define ourselves by our trauma, which is so easy to do, and it feels good, it's comfortable, we come home for me, just terrible things happen to me. It's not fair. And it just doesn't do anything for you. However, telling yourself every day, I am strong. I am a winner. The truth will come out.

Justice will happen. You know what that does? It makes you feel good every day. You can't go and change your life if you're dragging your old life with you.

You can't have a future that's different than your past if you're bringing your past into your future. It's just that simple.

Roxy: 00:26:31

It's just that simple.

Julia Haart: 00:26:32

It's hard. I mean, it feels like you have.

Roxy: 00:26:34

The tools because, you know, you kind of went through this very sort of oppressive, like a very big, you know, leaving of what you knew in your 40s. Then you kind of go through this whole, like, nasty divorce.

And it's like you just, it's like you innately have those tools to kind of get through the shit that comes in your life, you know, 100%.

Julia Haart: 00:26:57

And, you know, it was really different this time because for the first time in my life, I wasn't alone. I had people who stood there with me and held me. And, you know, I'm a. I'm, you know, there's.

I say, you know, I divide when you're talking about dating and relationships, people into gardeners and flowers. Gardeners are nurturers. They're caregivers. They water, they take care. They're the ones who make sure that you're happy. They think about other people.

And then there are flowers. Flowers say, I'm just beautiful because I exist. Give me, give me, give me water, water, water. Give me sun, give me this, give me that, right?

I've been a gardener my whole Life. I was raised to be a gardener. I'm the eldest of eight children, and I raised a lot of my siblings. I have raised around 10 human beings in my life.

So it's a lot of people. Right. And so my whole life, and then, of course, in my community, I was trained to be a gardener. Women, their job is to give.

So I've been a gardener my whole life, and I've married. Flowers. Right. Sylvia. Only child. Of course, it doesn't necessarily make you a flower. There's wonderful people who are only children.

But if you're an only child, and you are a child of more elderly parents, and no one ever taught you how to share your toys and the world revolved around you as you were growing up as an adult, you still think the world revolves around you, you know, and, you know, I think what I've learned from all of this is, yes, I'm going to be a gardener from the rest of my life, but now I'm going to look for someone who gardens back. Mm.

Roxy: 00:28:44

And how is that garden looking, by the way?

Julia Haart: 00:28:50

How is the dating world just having fun? Like, I, you know, I know a lot of people complain about dating, and I get it, and I hear them. I think they just want different things than me.

Meaning, you know, I built a very successful company at the end of this divorce, when I have the judgment and I can actually enforce things. There's a lot of, you know, thank God, financial success. That's that, you know, so I don't need to be supported or taken care of or blah, blah, blah.

Right. And I. I'm. I'm 54, but I left my community. It'll be November, 12 years. Right.

So I'm kind of like in my 30s and where I am in life, because I've only been working for 12 years. I'm kind of like a college student that walked out, works for 12 years. You're in your mid-30s, right?

So I tend to date guys late 20s to mid-30s because they're my energy level, like, unfortunately. And of course, again, I do not want to make any generalizations. I'm sure there are men in their 50s who are fabulous.

A lot of men in their 50s have been working for 30 years. They're tired. They want to golf, they want to play tennis, they want to travel, they. They're retired. They want to move to Palm Beach. I don't know.

That is not for me. I'm just getting started. I've got three businesses that we're building.

I have so many plans and things that I want to create and ways that I think I can make women's lives better and things that I want to do. And I'm so excited about all of that. So I kind of date young guys, most of them.

Again, this sounds kind of funny, but I've never been broken up with, so it's kind of fun doing all the breaking up. Most guys last somewhere between three weeks and three months. I think the longest person has lasted three months. And then it just.

I get, I don't know, bored or, I don't know, whatever. So right now I'm just having so much fun. I'm dating really cool people who are young and passionate and excited about life in the future.

And then I go to the next. Really fun and exciting. So, you know, why not?

Roxy: 00:31:06

It's like an ice cream shop.

Julia Haart: 00:31:08

I've never had this. Like, I just started dating for the first time in my life. When I left my community. I was in my 40s, and I would say the first year wasn't dating.

It was more like, oh, wow, sex is amazing. Let's have sex. You know, it was like more sexual exploration. And then I met a guy who became my boyfriend.

And after I broke up with him, you know, six months went. When I just didn't do anything. And then I met my husband. So I've never actually dated in my entire life, like, ever.

So I started dating for the first time in my life in my 50s. So, like, I guess what people do when they start dating in high school is kind of what I'm doing now, right? It really is.

Roxy: 00:31:46

I think, you know, too. We have a common friend, you and I, and she had a very fulfilling, like, dating life, dating younger men. And she really.

Julia Haart: 00:31:54

I love it.

Roxy: 00:31:55

I. I love it, and I think it's great. And she's also in her 50s, and it's like, why not?

Julia Haart: 00:32:01

Why not? Who said that we have to date older men? I don't date older men. I want someone who is still excited about life.

And honestly, you know, I prefer someone, you know, who is less financially successful than I am, to be honest. Because, you know, I think wealthy, successful women have more empathy. Don't think they're God.

And again, no generalizations, because I have met some incredibly successful men who are really good people who are trying to do good for the world. So, again, no, I don't like generalization.

However, when you're younger and you don't have your success yet, it is more likely that you don't think you're God. It is more likely that you're going to treat a woman as an equal, and that's what I have found.

Guys that age are incredibly respectful, you know, as they've also been brought up in a world that's more respectful to women, so they're less likely to be misogynistic and patriarchal. So, you know, I mean, I love it. I am super happy now. Do I eventually want to find someone to live with for the rest of my life? Sure.

I believe in love. I'm a happy person. I like giving to people. I like having someone to love, you know, that's wonderful. It's a wonderful feeling. Sure. Great.

Do I need to put a marriage contract on it at my age? Absolutely not. I would prefer someone wake up every morning and choose me.

Roxy: 00:33:32

That's. That's what you want?

Julia Haart: 00:33:34

That's what I want.

Roxy: 00:33:35

That's the feeling.

Julia Haart: 00:33:36

I want someone to choose me every morning.

Roxy: 00:33:39

To not have to be there. To want to be there.

Julia Haart: 00:33:42

Exactly. I don't want to. I don't want them to be legally responsible to love me. I want them to love me because they love me. And I want to feel the same.

I want to wake up every morning feeling grateful that this incredible human being is next to me and choosing to be with him. You know, so to me, when you're younger, I think marriage is important. I do.

I think your children, especially if you want to have children, I think children, it's a sense of comfort and security knowing that both your parents are legally required to show up. I think that's nice. You know, whatever the family structure is, I don't think it really matters.

And, you know, it's just that you want it to be legal, right? You want there to be a piece of paper that says mommy and daddy or mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy or ever.

Your family dynamic is you want them to legally have to show up. But in my age, I've had my kids, obviously not having any more children. I just want someone who loves me.

Roxy: 00:34:40

Yeah, exactly. That's.

Julia Haart: 00:34:42

That's.

Roxy: 00:34:42

That's the goal. And how vocal are the kids when you're dating somebody? Are they giving you advice? Are they kind of like, oh, they're the best.

Julia Haart: 00:34:51

Oh, my God. I. Oh, my gosh. So, first of all, Bachelor is my dating guru, okay? She for sure, knows a lot more about dating than I do.

And so whenever I'm not sure something or I feel like I don't think this is appropriate or not sure this is, you know, correct. I'll. I'll fact check with her. I'll Be like, but this is a normal thing for someone to do, because I really didn't ever date. I don't know.

So that's one. Number two, because of what happened with Sylvia, I don't necessarily trust my judgment so much when it comes to guys, because I am very trusting.

I am very. I'm nice, you know, I'm. I'm nice, you know, I see the best in people. And, you know, they warned me about Sylvia.

They saw something in him, and I told them. They did. Oh, yes. And I said, oh, no, no, no, you guys are wrong. You don't like him because he's not Jewish. That's what I thought.

Roxy: 00:35:50

Okay?

Julia Haart: 00:35:51

But I was wrong. Everything they said came to pass. Everything. They were on the money, 100%.

And that's the problem when we get emotionally attached to someone and there's a strong physical and emotional connection, right.

When that happens, we're not really rational and we ignore signs that we see and we know, but we just push them back because we don't want to see and we don't want to know. So we now have a rule in the whole. In the family, and we have really stuck to it. And the rule is very simple.

If any of us, me or any of the kids meet someone that they think this could be real, like an actual boyfriend or girlfriend, they have to come to family dinner. And then everybody votes.

Roxy: 00:36:43

Wow.

Julia Haart: 00:36:45

A vote. Okay, Everybody votes. And if the family does not like the person, they're out. And I literally had that happen.

I was dating this guy and I was like, maybe, like, maybe I would actually, you know, because most guys I kind of break up with in that three week, three to four week period.

Roxy: 00:37:06

You had crossed the three weeks at this point, right?

Julia Haart: 00:37:08

I crossed that three weeks. And I was like, actually, maybe he could actually be my boyfriend. So let me introduce him to my kids. I brought him over.

All four of my kids were like, absolutely not. And I broke up. I broke up with him that night.

Roxy: 00:37:20

Really?

Julia Haart: 00:37:21

Up with him immediately. I did. Broke up with him immediately.

Roxy: 00:37:24

So you guys do the vote at the dinner, like right after the dinner.

Julia Haart: 00:37:27

After. Right after the dinner. When it's fresh in your mind and so that no one can convince anyone else. So it's your own opinion also.

And we did the same thing with, you know, other moms and my kids. I mean, we've literally. Because my kids want me to be happy. They don't care if a person's younger. They're lovely to everybody.

They totally understand why I date younger guys. And in fact, They've set me up with younger guys. Like, it's not. They're super open to it. They just want their mom to be happy.

And I know that, like, they know I'm not gonna have any more children, so they're never going to be supplanted. There's not going to. You know, they are my kids and so I trust them and they trust me.

And so I think this is really safe because when you get emotionally tasked with someone and you ignore all the warning signs, somebody has to be the one saying, watch out. Did you see this? Or did you see that? And yeah, so now I don't have to make those decisions by myself anymore. We do it as a family.

It's a take us all or leave us all. You get one of us, you get all of us.

Roxy: 00:38:37

See, and if a guy can live through that and can thrive through that, I mean, that's the guy right there.

Julia Haart: 00:38:43

There you go, There you go. That's the guy.

Roxy: 00:38:45

So I would imagine Batsheva is a pretty good wing woman too. When you're out.

Julia Haart: 00:38:51

We never go out together because it's dating wise. Only accidentally, Meaning a couple of times we actually had dates and we went to the same place. No, you did it.

Roxy: 00:39:01

Oh my God.

Julia Haart: 00:39:01

Yeah, we did. But. So that happened twice, but totally inadvertently.

Otherwise, you know, it's kind of awkward because sometimes we don't know who the guy is interested in. We've kind of created a system.

So if we don't go out together, but like, sometimes let's say we're on a trip or we're going out, you know, as a family, or we're flying somewhere, whatever, and some guy comes and starts flirting and we're not sure who he's interested in. We figured out a way to figure it out because we ask his age. Now here's the trick. If he said, let's say we say, how old are you?

If he says, I'm 31 years old, he's interested in butt shovel. If he says, I'm almost 32 or how old do you want me to be? He's interested in me.

So if he's trying to make himself older or not giving a direct answer, he's interested in me. If he gives his age correctly, then he's interested in bot and it works every time. It's a fail. It's a foolproof system.

Roxy: 00:40:03

Oh my God. Have you guys ever liked the same guy?

Julia Haart: 00:40:06

No. God, no. First of all, if my daughter likes him, she gets first dibs. Like, I'm having fun she's dating to, you know, get married and have a family.

So, like, I don't care. Like, forget. I'll find five other people don't. Like, it's not, you know, it's fine. So. No, no, no. But Sheva. Absolutely. But we've never had that.

Like, you know, because the guys that she's dating are men who want to start families, you know, are dating for serious things. The guys I'm dating are having fun. Like, we're having fun. You know, I, I, I generally start off dates if, if I think there will be a day, too.

I always put it out there.

Like, my track record is around three weeks, and if you're okay with that, you know, I'm very open and straightforward, and no one seems to mind, and it's been great. And of course, one day, if I meet someone who can last longer than three weeks, great.

Roxy: 00:41:00

It sounds like the dream. I mean, what guy is not going to love that?

Julia Haart: 00:41:04

Yeah. Why not? You know, so.

So it's a very different kind of person that we're dating, so we've never actually had a situation where we both like the same person. And again, if she would ever tell me or if we would even see someone, I would say, oh, he's cute. And she'd say, I like him.

I would absolutely say yours. You know what I'm saying? I'm not serious about it. So it's fine.

Roxy: 00:41:25

Totally. And now when. Okay. When everything is all said and done, hopefully on the 12th or soon thereafter.

Julia Haart: 00:41:32

Yes, we're, like, soon thereafter. Because he still has to. The judge has to write the decision. So if I'm lucky, it's like two, three weeks later, you know?

Roxy: 00:41:41

Okay. And then hopefully by the holiday.

Julia Haart: 00:41:44

Freedom. Yes, freedom.

Roxy: 00:41:46

Freedom.

Julia Haart: 00:41:46

Oh, my God.

Roxy: 00:41:47

Oh, my God. Julia. I'm, like, I'm, like, so excited for you. I mean, I feel like it's gonna be. We all. I think we need another TV show.

I think we need, like, your reinvention.

Julia Haart: 00:41:57

I just let. Before we even talk about that, let me first get out of this divorce, and then we'll see.

Roxy: 00:42:03

I'm already, like, calling Netflix. I'm like, let's get this going. Let's get this going. No, but there is something so powerful. So what do you.

With all this energy that you're going to have, like, hopefully all this good stuff. I know you're starting. You've got all these other brands going. What else is, like, coming down the pipeline for you? Is there anything?

Julia Haart: 00:42:22

Well, my kids and I have invented something that I think is really extraordinary and a massive game changer. I can't really say more than that, but that is going to be Body by Julia, our shapewear brand, which I'm just so.

Which I love so much and is, you know, thank God it's doing so well. And this new invention thing, that's going to be our focus. I'm so excited. I can't.

I mean, I just, every time I think about it, I just want to jump up and down like a little kid because I really think it's going to help so many people. And anyway, so I really, I just want to start it already. It's so frustrating. I want to start it today, but it's okay. It's okay.

Roxy: 00:43:04

But you've got, I mean, you've got a lot going with the shapewear line. I love the shapewear, by the way. It's so sexy.

Julia Haart: 00:43:09

Thank you.

Roxy: 00:43:09

So fun. And I think it's important to make it like that, to give it that.

Julia Haart: 00:43:13

Well, also, what's coming now, we, we just got, you know, all the terrorists kind of delayed stuff, but hopefully in a month or so it'll be on line. Right now, I don't think you can buy anything on our website. I think everything is sold out.

But in a few weeks, we're actually bringing to women a hybrid of bra, shirt and shapewear. In one garment, we've made T shirts, tank tops, camisoles, bodysuits, long sleeve shirts with your bra built inside and slightly shaping.

So instead of having to wear three layers, you wear one, you pay for one. And it's a shirt or a tank top or a T shirt or a camisole or bodysuit. That's not just by your dress size, but by your cup size.

Oh, so you can buy a size medium shirt with a double D or a size medium shirt with an A.

Roxy: 00:44:19

Oh, so you can pick the cup. It can be any cup, any cup.

Julia Haart: 00:44:23

We go from A to double F. Oh, my goodness.

Roxy: 00:44:28

That's genius. And it, it tucks, it holds it in, everything.

Julia Haart: 00:44:32

So every. It smooths you out. It's made for day to day wear. It smooths you out. But it's not like you're dying.

So it's very, it's smoothing, but your bra is in there. You wear one garment, one thing, and guess what? What does every woman on earth. I've never met someone who told me that they don't do this.

If you're wearing a bra with hooks, the first thing you do when you get home is unhook it. Because that strap is so Freaking painful. Well, guess what?

Our bras don't have straps because we're using the body of the clothing to hold the cups in place. No straps, no discomfort. And because it's slightly, slightly shapewear. Right. It holds everything in place. So I am a fifth. I'm 54 years old.

I have a double D cup and my. I mean, I'm gonna be honest, my boobs travel. Like they don't stay in one place.

They're not these, you know, they're not the perky 20 year old boobs I had 30 years ago. They're just not with this, without Ebro, just with the shirt, everything stays in place, nothing moves. And I'm.

I have fallen asleep in my clothes because they're so comfortable that, like, it's. It's so insanely comfortable. And it looks beautiful, everybody.

I mean, it's kind of one of the models who works for us because I also own ewg told me Julia, it's lipo, tummy tuck and boob job in an outfit because it really does. It shapes you. It makes your breasts look perfect because you're wearing a bra that fits you. No discomfort. You're not wearing three layers.

There's no lines anywhere. It's one thing and it's all of those encompass. So I cannot wait till we've gotten it.

It's arrived in America, so now we just have to photograph it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then we'll put it up on our website. I think people are going to go crazy because it is beautiful and comfortable and makes you look absolutely magnificent.

And I'm beyond excited about it.

Roxy: 00:46:36

Oh, my gosh. And, well, I mean, if you can fall asleep in it, that's the true test of, like, comfort. And.

Julia Haart: 00:46:40

Yeah, yeah, you'll see.

I mean, people, you know, we haven't obviously sold any because we haven't put them in our store yet, but we've gifted some to models who try clothes on all the time because they're the best to me, like, they've tried everything, you know, and we haven't had a single instance where at the end of a photo shoot, someone didn't say to us, can I take it home? Do I have to take it off? You just don't want to take it off. It's so freaking comfortable. It's crazy. And then hopefully for.

We're also working on creating swimwear. Shapewear. Swimwear. It'll look like a bathing suit. It'll feel like a bathing suit, except it will be your bra size and it will Shape you.

Roxy: 00:47:28

That's the dream. Right when you step out on the beach.

Julia Haart: 00:47:31

And then next year, we're going to launch Bridal Wear. We're going to make wedding gowns with your shapewear and your bra built inside. Yes. Because you can actually enjoy your own wedding.

Roxy: 00:47:43

Yes.

Julia Haart: 00:47:44

You know how many women are. Yes. On the inside? They're wearing 40 layers. They can't go to the bathroom.

Roxy: 00:47:49

Can't go to the bathroom.

Julia Haart: 00:47:49

They're so uncomfortable. They're wearing their bra. They're wearing massive shapewear. Then they're wearing their dress, which is generally several layers. It's ridiculous.

This is a zip and go. Your bra will be in your dress, the shapewear will be in your dress. And you'll never know. It'll be lace and light, and you'll never know.

Because of our technology, you can't tell that it's shapewear. You can't tell that there's anything shaping in there. It looks like regular clothes. We can color it. We can make patterns and lace. You know, our next.

We actually have a lace collection coming. It's a full lace collection with the bra built in. And again, the shapewear in lace, like. Yeah.

So there's a lot of exciting things coming with Body by Julia and. Yeah. I just. I just need this divorce to be done. Yes.

Roxy: 00:48:39

This is the one thing, once you're, like, through that. I mean, it seems like it's just.

Julia Haart: 00:48:43

It's up and away.

Roxy: 00:48:44

Yes. It's up and away.

Julia Haart: 00:48:46

Change the world together.

Roxy: 00:48:47

Yes. Right. I mean, now's the time.

Julia Haart: 00:48:51

How has.

Roxy: 00:48:52

I mean, I know you've been through all of these different things, but in general, how has midlife treated you?

Julia Haart: 00:48:57

I don't know what midlife is.

Roxy: 00:49:00

You're kind of a preemie still. Basically.

Julia Haart: 00:49:03

I tell people, like, I'm 54 and I'm also 11. Yeah. I mean, there's so many things that I haven't done that people did when they were 17.

Like, they had their first love when high school, and they went to prom and had their. I didn't do any of those things. You know what I mean? I never went to prom. I never had a boyfriend in high school or college. Like, there's just.

My story is so weird that I don't. I'm not in midlife where I am. I'm kind of at the beginning of this new life. That's what it feels like to me.

My midlife feels like the beginning of my new life.

Roxy: 00:49:37

It is. It really is. Looking back, I mean, I know in.

At 25 years old, you were probably in the thick of like raising children and you were in that marriage and living in A.

Julia Haart: 00:49:49

At 25, I'd had more pregnancies because I, I missed, I, I miscarried 10 times. I've had 10 miscarriages.

Roxy: 00:49:59

10 miscarriages.

Julia Haart: 00:50:00

I've been pregnant, I've been pregnant 14 times.

Roxy: 00:50:04

Oh my God, the little, you little.

Julia Haart: 00:50:08

Cute, teeny, not so fun. 14 times.

Roxy: 00:50:12

10 miscarriages.

Julia Haart: 00:50:14

By 25, I have 4 miscarriages and 2 kids.

Roxy: 00:50:16

Oh my God. Wow.

Julia Haart: 00:50:18

Wow.

Roxy: 00:50:19

I mean, what? So looking back at that 25 year old, what would you tell her now? Like what? What? Don't stop, just keep long.

Julia Haart: 00:50:35

Did it take me till I was 42 to leave?

Roxy: 00:50:39

What? One day?

Julia Haart: 00:50:41

I mean. Ah, okay. It's okay.

Roxy: 00:50:44

Were those little things bubbling up already at that age for you though? Like at 25?

Julia Haart: 00:50:47

Oh my God. Since I was 11 and we moved in there, things were bubbling because who I was supposed to be and who I actually was, they didn't correlate.

There's no, you know, I was supposed to be meek and mild and quiet and retiring and I wasn't supposed to understand things and I was supposed to look up men that smarter than me and more knowledgeable than I was. None of that works with my personality. I am not meek and mild or clutch.

You know, I know that most of the, you know, I'm not a stupid person, let's just put it that way. I have a pretty decent iq, done pretty well for myself without literally any degree or knowledge at all whatsoever.

I'm a full, self taught, self made person. So none of the things I was supposed to be were the things I actually was.

And so that dichotomy between who I was told that God would love and who I actually was was very difficult from the beginning. From day one. It was very hard for me.

And I tried, I tried to fit into that mold, but there's just no meek and, and, and, you know, and, and there's just no meekness here. I'm not, you know, I, I'm not this little shy flower that is just not who I am. And so to have to be that was, you know, a torture.

Roxy: 00:52:06

Yeah. God, I know. Trying to fit, you know, a square peg in a round hole. I mean it just, but it was.

Julia Haart: 00:52:12

A, it was a, you know, it was a giant square into a hole this big. Right. So it wasn't even that the size of it. It was just that I was supposed to have a life that was this small and I wanted a life that was this big.

Roxy: 00:52:25

And you did what you had to do, you know, and you let, didn't let the fear stop you, which is.

Julia Haart: 00:52:30

I didn't let the fear stop me.

Roxy: 00:52:32

What was that first step like? What, what in your head did you tell yourself?

Julia Haart: 00:52:36

I think the first step for any person who wants to change is to give yourself permission to do so and to acknowledge that you're not happy. Not because of who you are, but because of the situation you're in. And women, very often we make excuses.

We're great at becoming used to difficult things, to painful things. You know, we are, you know, we manage, we survive, right? We're able to live and find joy in the most difficult of circumstances.

And so to be able to say to yourself, you deserve more, I'm not happy, I want my life to change.

And then give yourself permission that this doesn't make you a bad person, that the life you're living doesn't make you happy, it doesn't make you a bad person, that you want more, doesn't make you a bad person, that you want fulfillment. You have to acknowledge in your heart and give yourself permission to want more, to demand more. And once you do that, the rest is just step by step.

That first step is the hardest. To acknowledge that you have a right and that you deserve to have a.

Roxy: 00:53:53

Better life and let go of the shame and the fear. Because that's.

Julia Haart: 00:53:56

Yeah, that's it. Because it's. Well, of course, fear. I mean, again, and it has, it serves.

Maybe fear was useful when we were running from like evil, monstrous dinosaurs, whatever, who were munching us for lunch.

But in today's day and age, unless of course, you know, you live in, in a place where there's a lot of physical danger, which unfortunately, in many areas of our country, as we know, there's a lot of crime and all of that, but generally in your day to day, if you're living in a safe city or a safe community, the things that we're afraid of are not tangible. We're afraid of failing, we're afraid of losing. We're afraid of being made fun of.

The things that we're afraid of are not animals, they're not dinosaurs. They're insecurities to a large extent, right? And it's just, it doesn't, it serves no purpose. Ask yourself, how does my fear make my life better?

And if the answer is because of course, fear doesn't make anyone's life better, look at that honestly and you're going to see that the answer is it Doesn't. So if you have something that you're doing that doesn't make your life better, why continue doing it? Fuck fear. Literally, just fuck fear. Yes.

Who cares what people say?

Roxy: 00:55:23

Exactly. That's exactly who cares.

Julia Haart: 00:55:25

Who cares? And again, your voice has to be louder than everyone else because you know what? People don't like change.

And people are very uncomfortable when you change.

My kids got into Dr. Joe Dispenza and meditation, not because I talked to them about it and not because they saw me doing it, but because they saw the change in me. My two daughters, Batsheva and Miriam, actually came to me like a year ago and they were like, okay, what drug are you on? I was like, what?

Like, you're happy, you're confident, you're not stressed anymore. All this shit is going on and you're like this joyous person, like, what? What are you on? And I was like, nothing, I've just been meditating.

And that's how I introduced them to Dr. Joe. And so they really came to it, not because I was doing it, but because of the change they saw in me.

And I have people all the time meet me who knew me from, you know, free Sylvio, and they're like, you're a different person. And I really am. I'm a different person. And that makes some people uncomfortable because they're used to you being like X.

And all of a sudden you're doing things that you wouldn't normally do. And everyone's like, ah, this messes with my. My life, my worldview, because we don't want people to change.

When people change, your friends, some of them will be very excited for you. Many of them won't because it shows them that they could change too. And that gets them uncomfortable.

And so they'd rather you fail because it's then an excuse why they don't have to do any changes or make any changes in their life. Then you'll have people who are just uncomfortable because they like everything to stay the same.

They want to know that they know exactly what you think about every single thing. And I don't believe in any of that. I don't want to be the same person today that I am, that I will be a month from now.

I don't want to be the same person I'll be a year from now. I want to constantly change. I want to constantly evolve.

And when I learn new things, it changes opinions of mine and it puts me into different directions and that's what makes life exciting. So who cares? You gotta Just spoon it all out. It's just noise, right? What does a football. Football player do? Right.

They only see the ball and their teammates. There's millions of people screaming different things at them. You think they hear that while they're playing? No. They manage to tune everyone out.

And that's what you have to do. You have to pretend you're on a football field, tune everyone else out, focus on the ball, focus on what you want, and go for that.

Roxy: 00:58:06

Make that be your goal, and go for it. Really go for it. You know, go for it.

Julia Haart: 00:58:11

And when people ask me how, I tell them the same answer that I. That I say when people ask me how I wear such high heels. If I tell you how many times I ask, oh, my gosh, how do you walk in those high heels?

I respond with right foot, left foot. And that's how you change, too. Right foot, left foot, one step at a time. Stop worrying about 50 steps. Just do one step and focus on the next step.

And just one right foot, left foot. That's how you make any change. Right foot, left foot.

Roxy: 00:58:40

That's it. One step at a time, one step at a time. So, Ms. Julia, how are you living iconically right now?

Julia Haart: 00:58:48

How am I living iconically? I don't know. I think other people have to tell me that I can't claim my. So this is how I am.

Well, what I would say is I can tell you how I'm living authentically.

Roxy: 00:59:05

And which, to me is iconic. That, to me is iconic.

Julia Haart: 00:59:08

Well, I'm saying. But I don't. Yeah, I just don't feel comfortable doing it. So this is the way I'm like, you know, but, you know, I. I'm just.

I don't know, I just feel this massive sense of. Of excitement and this ridiculously strong conviction that I am going to make the world a better place and I'm not going to give up until I do.

Roxy: 00:59:36

And that's it.

Julia Haart: 00:59:37

And that's exciting. It's exciting thinking that an action that one individual can take can change the course of other people's lives.

And imagine if all women felt that way, if we all knew our own power, our own strength, our own ability to affect change. Imagine what we could do if women all over the world decided to get together and say, enough.

Roxy: 01:00:02

Band together, Be unstoppable.

Julia Haart: 01:00:03

Band together. We'd be literally unstoppable. So if every woman feels that they can make a difference, then we will make a difference. And I really.

I'm excited about the future. I. I really am. I'm Just excited for what's. I'm excited for the unknown. I like the unknown.

Roxy: 01:00:24

You like living in that place? Like, you like to kind of not know.

Julia Haart: 01:00:27

I love living in that place where you, where everything is new and different and you're learning and you're building and growing and, you know, we've invented these things that, you know, we're hopefully going to show up to the world soon. I mean, who knows? But that's what makes it exciting. That's living.

Roxy: 01:00:47

It's not about the result, right? It's not always about the result.

Julia Haart: 01:00:50

I kind of like the result too. I, you know, I like it when, let's be honest, I'm very. I like succeeding. I like the fact that, thank God, so far we.

I haven't started a company that hasn't succeeded. And that's awesome. However, I've made a lot of mistakes too and learned from them.

So, yes, I want it to be massively successful, but the process is exciting.

Roxy: 01:01:12

Well, on the iconic midlife, we like to play a game at the end of the episode. If you're a game, go for it. All right, so the name of this game is Unorthodox or Iconic.

So I'll give you a series of statements, phrases, scenarios, and you say if you think it's unorthodox, which is bold and rebellious and unexpected, or iconic, genius, aspirational, or timeless. So, okay, okay. Micro minis at 60 plus years old.

Julia Haart: 01:01:46

Unorthodox.

Roxy: 01:01:48

Okay, okay. We do like.

Julia Haart: 01:01:50

I mean, I do it all the time. I get yelled at 24, 7. Do you know that you can get rid of like certain words on your Instagram? Like, so that Instagram blocks certain words.

Roxy: 01:02:01

Oh, I didn't. So keywords. Like, keywords.

Julia Haart: 01:02:03

Okay, Keywords. Like it. Like, so I had to keyword breasts, Boobs because I got so many comments every day. You're too old to be wearing such low cut things. We should.

I had to literally block the word. So I wish it was iconic. I think it should be iconic. I think you should wear whatever you want at any age.

However, unfortunately, in today's culture, it's still unorthodox.

Roxy: 01:02:28

Yeah.

Julia Haart: 01:02:29

And we get attacked all the time.

Roxy: 01:02:31

I mean, it's ridiculous every single day.

Julia Haart: 01:02:34

I get yelled at for my clothes.

Roxy: 01:02:36

Every single day by the trolls.

Julia Haart: 01:02:38

Right.

Roxy: 01:02:39

They just come out of nowhere and.

Julia Haart: 01:02:40

Yeah, and again, I don't listen to them. I still wear the mini things I can. And the most low cut things. Boobs out. Proud. But I wish it was iconic. It should be iconic.

Unfortunately, it's still Unorthodox.

Roxy: 01:02:53

Yes, that's a good point. We are going to change that though.

Julia Haart: 01:02:56

Make it icon.

Roxy: 01:02:57

Yes, yes. Quitting a marriage with no plan, just instinct.

Julia Haart: 01:03:03

Icon.

Roxy: 01:03:05

Just knowing. Right? Just knowing and doing.

Julia Haart: 01:03:07

Just knowing when you know, you know.

Roxy: 01:03:08

You know, you know. Absolutely. Shapewear. That actually feels sexy.

Julia Haart: 01:03:13

That's definitely unorthodox. Totally.

Roxy: 01:03:17

You're changing that though. You are changing the game on that.

Julia Haart: 01:03:20

It will one day be iconic.

Roxy: 01:03:22

Yes. Sharing every detail of your life on reality tv.

Julia Haart: 01:03:28

Every detail.

Roxy: 01:03:32

We gotta keep some things like in the pocket, you know.

Julia Haart: 01:03:36

Yeah.

I mean, honestly, you know, when the cameras are rolling, I really let everything out because if I'm gonna do it, if I'm gonna help women, I have to show warts. And all my life, I can't pretend that my life is easy or perfect or blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that one doesn't help anyone.

People need to see, you can make mistakes, you can have hard times and you can still win. You can still come out ahead. You can still have your family. So, yeah, one day, again it will be iconic. But I think today it's unorthodox.

Roxy: 01:04:03

When you were filming the show, you were kind of going through the marriage too. So were they creatively sort of editing around those or. No, it was just. Just how you saw it.

Julia Haart: 01:04:13

Well, the first season, you know, we were still trying. I was still trying to find a way to be his wife.

I just, at a certain point, I gave up because, you know, I tried everything I could to get him to understand that you can't prevent me from being and seeing my kids. I really did. I gave it my absolute all. And in the end, when the choice came, children versus him, I mean, it was a no brainer for me.

I will choose my children over anyone at any time, no matter what. We are a package deal. If you cannot love my children, you do not get to love me. It's that simple.

Roxy: 01:04:50

Yes, 100%. I stand behind that. Dating somebody 20 years younger should be iconic.

Julia Haart: 01:04:57

Unfortunately, unorthodox.

Roxy: 01:04:59

Exactly, exactly. Oh, taking ayahuasca to spark personal transformation.

Julia Haart: 01:05:06

I think I would vomit my entire guts out. I have. I have such a sensitive stomach. Like getting in a car is a problem for me. So definitely not for me. I don't know enough about it.

Honestly, I do. I don't. Is it elite? Is it legal?

Roxy: 01:05:22

I think go somewhere to do it.

Julia Haart: 01:05:25

Like, I think, okay, so I'm gonna just take the legal part out of it because I don't want to tell anyone to do something illegal to me. Honestly, I Think meditation can get you the same results without ingesting an external drug because you can have out of body experiences.

You can have these experiences where you literally leave and have visions. And all this stuff like that's happened to me on multiple occasions without any drugs. Right. Just from meditation.

And master meditators, you know, they very often have out of body experiences. So I think having that experience is incredible. I just don't think you need ayahuasca to do it.

Roxy: 01:06:11

Good point. God, you're making me want to do meditation now.

Julia Haart: 01:06:14

Oh, it's unbelievable. Like, seriously, you should go on drjonesbenza.com like I'm telling you. It is the best advice I can give you for the rest of your life.

Do his progressive online course if you want him to understand how what he does is different. There's a great movie, it's on, I think Amazon and HBO and a bunch of other places. It's called the source.

Roxy: 01:06:33

Okay.

Julia Haart: 01:06:34

Dr. Joe dispens the Source. If you Google it, you can watch it. I think it's. I'm pretty sure it's free or whatever.

It kind of encapsulates what they do and how different it is from other meditation. And the science behind it is just mind blowing.

There is a woman, John Hopkins University, very reputable place, who regrew a fully functioning thyroid. Fully functioning thyroid. Regrew her own thyroid. Like it is crazy in her body. She had cancer. She had thyroid cancer. They removed in Johns Hopkins.

She did the meditation practice with Dr. Joe and under doctor care, they literally watched her regrow her own thyroid. So I mean, the data is incredible, the science is incredible. And it's such a game changer. Like there is nothing honestly that I could recommend more.

If you want to change yourself, here's the thing. You want to change your life, you have to change yourself. You can't be the same person in a new situation, then it's the same situation.

You can't just not carry your past with you. You can't carry your past self with you. You have to change yourself. And then everything around you changes.

Not immediately, not overnight, step by step, but you feel it and you see it and you know that it's true. And it's so. It gives you so much confidence to do the next change because you've seen that the first change worked.

So that is my biggest advice if you want to have that otherworldly experience, and I think it is important to have those because our minds are capable of grasping things so far out of this 3D reality that we're in. Right. We know that there's all of these waves that we can't see, right? There's theta waves, there's delta waves, there's gamma waves.

We can't see them, but we know that they're there. And those can have impacts on your brain. And if you can create synchronicity and order, wild things can happen. So I do love that kind of experience.

I have had out of body experiences that have been mind blowing. I mean just like completely mind blowing. But I didn't ingest anything. I just meditated.

Roxy: 01:08:45

Wow. So it's on the list now. It's happening.

Julia Haart: 01:08:49

There you go. Gotta do it, dude. I'm serious. Game changer. Okay.

I like in one of them, I literally, I mean, obviously we'll wait and see if it happens, but I mean I've had things that were like I meditated something and then three days later it happened identically to what I saw. Like identical.

And I don't, I, you know, I don't know if it's manifestation where I'm just literally manifesting that into existence, which is very possible.

ince I guess the beginning of: 2023

So it's been like two and a half years that I've been meditating. But I meditate on average between two and three hours a day.

Roxy: 01:09:42

What? That long?

Julia Haart: 01:09:44

Yeah.

Roxy: 01:09:45

In the morning or at night.

Julia Haart: 01:09:48

I do between an hour and an hour and a half.

In the morning I don't sleep much, so I'm up at 5am generally for 4:35am so somewhere between 4:30 and 5 I do an hour and a half and get up at 6:30 and start my day. And then before I go to sleep, if I'm super tired, I'll just do 30 minutes and then we've got two hours.

If I'm a little less tired, I'll do an hour, an hour and a half. And so it's between two and three hours a day.

Roxy: 01:10:12

Wow, that's, that's, that is a goal to really work toward Game changer.

Julia Haart: 01:10:17

It just feels so good. It doesn't feel like a chore. It's not like, okay, now I have to meditate. You just feel so strong, so powerful, so in control.

You know, as much as we feel out of control in the outside world, because you definitely don't invite a car accident or whatever. Being in control of your own emotions when you feel stressed, knowing that you can feel not stressed and you can stop that. That power feels amazing.

Amazing. You feel in control. I'm in control of my body. I'm in control of my emotions. If I don't want to be stressed, I choose not to be stressed.

If I don't want to be afraid, I choose not to be afraid.

So I love it because every time I have a hard day, and I've had lots of hard days, at the end of the day, I close my eyes and I go into a world where none of that exists. And when I come back to this world, I feel better, I feel good, I can close my eyes and not stress. And it's. It really is a game changer.

It's a massive, extraordinary game changer.

Roxy: 01:11:33

Oh, okay. I'm doing it. Okay. Couple more. Ditching your social media for 30 days to fully reset.

Julia Haart: 01:11:43

I honestly don't go on social media very often.

Roxy: 01:11:46

Really?

Julia Haart: 01:11:47

I know, I know I shouldn't say that out loud probably. I just, I don't have time. Like, I. When I love tv, I love watching tv. To me, that. That is my relaxation. I like. Because I need a story.

I like going out of my own story into someone else's story. I get very involved in it. But I want a fully fledged story. I don't want something that's 30 seconds long. I don't.

I like TV more than movies because a TV show can flesh out the characters more fully. So if I'd rather watch 10 hours of something than an hour and a half, a minute and a half for me doesn't really do much.

So, you know, I have a social media manager that manages my social media because obviously for my business, it's very important. You almost never go on.

Roxy: 01:12:35

That's the dream.

Julia Haart: 01:12:36

If I spend five, I don't. I can't even. I don't even think. I spend five minutes a day on social media. I really don't.

The only time I go on social media is when my kids tell me, ema, you have to see this or that or someone. I do the. I would say the one thing I do is every week, once a week, I go through my DMs. Oh, yeah.

Roxy: 01:12:53

What do the. What do the DMs look like? Are they like all over the place?

Julia Haart: 01:12:57

Interesting. All over the place. I have people from as far away as Australia, New Zealand and Africa sharing their stories with me, which I love so much.

And that's really the only time I go on social media is to read people in DMs, because some of them are just. They give me courage, they give me strength.

They remind me that there's a global sisterhood and that what I do can affect others, and what they do can affect me. When I'm very down or it's been a particularly hard day, or Sylvia's gotten away with X, Y, and Z, and I'm just like, this is still happening to me.

Stuff like that.

I go and I remind myself that there's people with way worse problems than I have, people who are struggling and suffering, who can't feed their children, and we're all talking to each other, you know, and that community is wonderful. So when I do spend time on social media, it's mostly with my DMs. I do, of course, get back and do DMs as well. Like, you know, you're old and ugly.

Why are you wearing mini skirts? I get those, too. That's fine. Okay. I just kind of skip over those. But, you know, I just choose to focus on the positive.

So there's just so many millions of women who have left me the most extraordinary stories and unbelievable messages, and I really love them. I don't know them, but I love them.

Roxy: 01:14:15

Absolutely. And your last one is using your 40s and 50s as your rebellion years.

Julia Haart: 01:14:23

It should be iconic. Let's make it iconic.

Roxy: 01:14:25

Let's make it iconic. That's what we're doing to make it iconic. Yes.

Julia Haart: 01:14:29

Yes.

Roxy: 01:14:29

I meant it. I meant it. Oh, Julia, thank you so much. You're so amazing to chat with every time.

Julia Haart: 01:14:35

I love it.

Roxy: 01:14:37

Love it.

Julia Haart: 01:14:37

I'm so happy what you did. And basically what you've done is what we're talking about. You.

You left a cushy job and a very successful one that you done incredible things in, and you started this podcast. You went into the unknown.

Roxy: 01:14:53

Yeah, yeah.

Julia Haart: 01:14:54

And there's no doubt in my mind that this will be enormous success and will exceed all your expectations, because you're a woman who believes and is not afraid of the unknown. And that, in the end, is all you need.

Roxy: 01:15:06

That's all you need. You're so right.

Julia Haart: 01:15:07

The rest will come.

Roxy: 01:15:08

You're so right.

Julia Haart: 01:15:09

The rest will come.

Roxy: 01:15:10

Yes. Well, on that note, we are going to take over. We're charging the world, and it's happening.

Julia Haart: 01:15:15

Yes. Let's do it.

Roxy: 01:15:17

Oh, Julia, tell everybody where they can find you. And when is the shapewear? When are the new pieces coming up?

Julia Haart: 01:15:22

Okay, so Julia Hart on Instagram is just Julia Hart and it's Body by Julia. Well, actually, let's make sure that I'm saying it correctly, because that would suck. It's Body by Julia Hart. So it's Body by Julia Hart.

And we will have clothing that has your shapewear and your bra built inside by October 1st. So in a few weeks. Yeah, in a few weeks.

Roxy: 01:15:51

Just in time for the holidays. We Love that. And September 12th. September 12th. That is the day of freedom.

Julia Haart: 01:16:00

Please, God.

Roxy: 01:16:01

It will happen. It will happen.

Julia Haart: 01:16:03

I hope so. I hope we don't need another day. And also, I hope the judge, you know, I mean, they are. These judges are so overworked. I mean, they really are.

This man's schedule is really difficult. I can't. I mean, it's hard, so.

But I'm really hoping because of the severity of the things that have been done that it gets written up quickly and that I can start my life again.

Roxy: 01:16:27

Yes. And just move on and have that Studio 54 party. That's gotta happen.

Julia Haart: 01:16:33

Let's go dancing.

Roxy: 01:16:33

Yes, for sure. For sure. Well, thank you so much, my friend.

Julia Haart: 01:16:39

All right, beautiful. Great speaking to you. Hey, Kiss.

Roxy: 01:16:44

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