Game Time: Say It Without Saying It with Sasha Alexander

Sasha Alexander: 00:00:00

As much as we'd like to believe so much is for the creative process, the truth is that the business part of it is not. It's about money. It's about making money. It's about being successful, making money. And with that comes the power to be able to make creative choices.

Roxy Manning: 00:00:11

It comes down to the dollar.

Sasha Alexander: 00:00:13

Yeah. A list, whatever. The minute you stop doing that, you're back at the bottom, starting again and starting again.

Roxy Manning: 00:00:18

What I wish someone had told me about the industry before I jumped in is blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:00:24

How crazy everyone is. Big egos and personalities. I needed, like, 10 years of psychology before I entered it.

Roxy Manning: 00:00:39

Okay, my friend, so before we wrap up, we always like to play a little game on the show.

Sasha Alexander: 00:00:45

Okay.

Roxy Manning: 00:00:45

If you're up for it.

Sasha Alexander: 00:00:46

Okay.

Roxy Manning: 00:00:48

All right, my friend, this game is a fill in the blank game, and it's called say it without. Say it without saying it. So basically, we're going to play a fill in the blank game. It's a quick fire round and just no overthinking.

Just say what comes to mind.

Sasha Alexander: 00:01:06

Okay?

Roxy Manning: 00:01:07

Okay. The moment I realized adulthood is nothing like what I had imagined at USC was blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:01:20

When I.

Honestly, when I was working, like, my first job at Sony Pictures in a crappy office and working crazy hours for no money, I was like, wow, this is not usc. Yeah.

Roxy Manning: 00:01:35

This is not the Theta house.

Sasha Alexander: 00:01:37

No.

Roxy Manning: 00:01:39

Okay. The part of my marriage I never talk about publicly but matters the most.

Sasha Alexander: 00:01:45

Is link, I guess I would say. The quiet conversations, like, I think the intimate conversations, the ones that are the glue between people that we never. That we. We never know.

Right. Only. Only the two people know. So, Yeah, I treasure this.

Roxy Manning: 00:02:08

Yeah. That is the glue. You're right. The thing motherhood forced me to grow out of was blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:02:16

Holding a grudge.

Roxy Manning: 00:02:18

That's a good one. Yeah.

Sasha Alexander: 00:02:21

Yeah. Holding a grudge about something, carrying it on, just learning to forgive quickly and move on and not that even.

And I don't mean forgive because you're not, like. As an adult, I'm not, like, angry at the kid, but, like, let's. Let's say for an example, I had a friend recently. They took their kid to something.

The kid was misbehaving. They had to leave the event, and the parent was really resentful that the kid made them leave the event.

So in parenting, all these kinds of things happen. And you can hold that in.

You can hold in a feeling like, I don't have a life, I resemble my kid, that they don't know how to, you know, all these things. And I think like, letting that go. Not holding on to things any longer than they need to be.

You know, just really, like, finding a solution and moving forward positively.

Roxy Manning: 00:03:10

Yeah. You really have to learn how to move through things quickly.

Sasha Alexander: 00:03:13

Yeah. I think I was more like, I was definitely a grudge person. I'm a Taurus. I was an only child.

Like, I definitely think I was someone that could hold onto it for a while and stew in it and marinate in it. And I just remember just having a moment where it was like, you can't do that anymore. Like, you have to. You have to be the example of it's forgiven.

And that really means it's forgiven, which means move on. No grudges.

Roxy Manning: 00:03:38

Yes, no grudges. It's life lessons, you know? Yeah. Okay. A truth about friendship I only learned in midlife is blank. Love.

Sasha Alexander: 00:03:53

Your friend. To love a friend means giving them the space to make their decisions the way they want to make them.

So letting your friend move through what they need to move through. In the way that they need to go through it, and you can still love them through it without being.

Without judging them, without stepping in to give them advice if they don't want to hear it.

Roxy Manning: 00:04:19

And not necessarily on your timeline. Right. Like, letting them take their time or.

Sasha Alexander: 00:04:24

Timeline is a big one. Yes. Like, you can love someone and sort of see that they've made a shitstorm of something and they're going to figure it out.

And if they ask you for advice, then you can say, this is my experience and how I would do it. But I really don't think that. I think everyone has to find their path. And so even if they're doing it in a way that you wouldn't do it.

You don't have to necessarily be like, you know, ringing the bell, going, what are you doing? Why are you doing that? I think it's more like, hey, like, you know, have a conversation about it.

But I also have found that sometimes being a good friend means just listening and loving them and letting them work through it on their timeline.

Roxy Manning: 00:05:09

Good point. A lot like kids, you know, you listen to them and let them work through it sometimes.

Sasha Alexander: 00:05:14

Yeah.

Roxy Manning: 00:05:16

The role I took for the paycheck but ended up changing me was blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:05:23

Trying to think about my last paycheck, but ended up changing me.

Roxy Manning: 00:05:28

Were there some that you. You almost didn't take, but that you took and you were glad you took?

Sasha Alexander: 00:05:34

I, I. The most recent is Lincoln Lawyer, but again, it's not a paycheck thing.

But, But I definitely, for a moment, just because I'm Working on real life co was sort of like, do I do this? And I'm taking this other thing on. But I had such a great time because the people involved in it are so. So they just are such pros.

And there were so many great women on the show as well as the lead Manuel. And I just, like, love the producers. So through the process of that, I actually. That was more than I anticipated it would be.

Roxy Manning: 00:06:07

That's always a nice feeling, huh?

Sasha Alexander: 00:06:09

So that was a really nice feeling. Yeah, I would say. I would say that's the most recent thing that felt to me like I got. I got something like more out of it.

Roxy Manning: 00:06:21

The quiet fear I had about starting a company at this stage in my life was blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:06:28

The time commitment, you know, the time commitment and just potentially the stress of that, not having time for other things in my life which. Which has happened. I don't have as much time for some friends. I don't have as much time for, like, I really have to schedule myself.

I have to say no to a lot of things. That. That's been the toughest.

Roxy Manning: 00:06:51

Yeah, no, it's true. You really have to become a time management, you know, aficionado. What I wish someone had told me about the industry before I jumped in is blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:07:04

How crazy everyone is.

Roxy Manning: 00:07:09

That.

Sasha Alexander: 00:07:09

It's like I needed. I needed a psych. I needed like 10 years of psychology before I entered it.

That you're going to be like, literally in a, you know, in a complete minefield of big egos and personalities and. Managing your own and everybody else's around you. If you're an empathic person, a lot of creative people are insensitive.

You're surrounded by so many people and how to manage all that energy and stay. Focused and in alignment with your values in the midst of it.

The other big one I'll say is that, you know, as much as we'd like to believe so much as for the creative process, the truth is that the business part of it is not. It's about money. It's about making money. It's about being successful, making money. And with that comes the power to be able to make creative choices.

But truthfully, that's like such a huge piece of it that. That. That's the hardest part to navigate.

Roxy Manning: 00:08:10

Yeah, it comes down to the dollar.

Sasha Alexander: 00:08:12

Yeah, yeah, it really, really does. And once that. Once. Once. That's sort of not a piece of it. You don't. Any.

Anybody, no matter if you were, you know, a list, whatever, the minute you stop doing that, you're back at the bottom, Starting again and starting again.

I guess I always just thought, like, if you reach a certain level, that you would always continue to build on that level, but it's always up and down, and that's brutal. Just brutal.

Roxy Manning: 00:08:38

It is. It is. One thing people get completely wrong about me is blank that I'm as.

Sasha Alexander: 00:08:47

Like. I don't want to say. I think that I'm more like. Like, I'm a Taurus with a Sagittarius rising, so I have, like, parts that are completely kooky.

Like, Eduardo always says to me that I'm, like, such a funny person because he's just like, you are, like, such a goofball. So, like, I think that I'm more eccentric than people think that I am. I think that I. I think I'm have more of a. Like, a put together, like.

Like, I am. I. I am a very, like, rational, grounded person. But then I also am, like, a bit like, I like to be in the stars. I like to, like, I'm not ocd.

Like, I do not want things to be perfectly ordered. I like to be able to have spontaneity. I like to be able to have, like, a freshness to my day, to my life. So I'm not as organized.

As I think people think I am. I am not.

Roxy Manning: 00:09:47

You do come across as organized.

Sasha Alexander: 00:09:49

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Not. But I'm not. Compared to people that I know or what people think. They think they're like, I'm really super organized about.

I'm like, no, I'm really not. I just honestly just did this five minutes ago. Like, I. When I have to do it, I get it done.

I was like the person who took the test at the last sex study that late. The last possible moment, and it stayed in here.

I was able to get through it, but I was not a person that planned on things as much as I may appear to.

Roxy Manning: 00:10:20

Interesting. Okay. Because you definitely come across as, like, organized.

And for as long as I've known you, I mean, I feel like you always came across as organized, but I'm really, really not.

Sasha Alexander: 00:10:30

I know. And I think that that's, like, a strange, like, unexpected, like, it's. I'm not.

Roxy Manning: 00:10:36

I like that. I like that little spontaneity, you know, Side of you. Sash. Okay.

If there's one thing I refuse to apologize for in this midlife chapter, it's my honesty. That's a good one. That's a good one. Why shouldn't you be?

Sasha Alexander: 00:10:56

Because not everybody wants to hear it. People don't always want the truth. They mostly don't. So, yeah. So I would say my honesty, I'm not going to apologize for.

I may not give it to you if you don't want it, but I'm. But I'm not going to apologize for it if I do.

Roxy Manning: 00:11:11

Yes. The older I get, the less I have patience for blank.

Sasha Alexander: 00:11:18

It's probably. I mean, I have an issue at restaurants when, like, it's a problem when food, like, takes too long.

Like, I waitressed, and so I feel like I'm becoming one of those people who is just like, yeah, they didn't handle this right. They didn't take the order right. They could have done that. They could have done that. It's not cool. Like, it's like, just let them go.

But for some reason, I micromanaged that. And also driving, if I'm not driving, I've become a little bit, like, impatient about, like, what roads to take and what back channels this take.

Like, I just. That those two things are not that good. You know? You know, being a waiter or a.

Roxy Manning: 00:12:01

Waitress is probably one of the best jobs you can have. I love to prepare you.

Sasha Alexander: 00:12:06

To prepare you for life. I loved it. I loved it. I really did. Italian rest, A couple Italian restaurants, Good Italian restaurants in L. A. I loved it. I. I loved it.

I learned so much. I think everyone should be a waiter. I really do. You learn about people. It's fun to feed people. Like, you learn tradition and routine.

Like, there's so much you have to organize. You have get it done quickly. Cleanliness. There's so much. I think it's great. But now I'm super judgy about bad waiters.

Roxy Manning: 00:12:33

Yeah.

Sasha Alexander: 00:12:33

Because, you know, girl, you're like, no.

Roxy Manning: 00:12:35

This is not gonna fly.

Sasha Alexander: 00:12:38

I'm like, come on, we gotta go. Let's go, let's go. Yeah, exactly. And I'm hungry. I'm hungry, and I'm getting hungry. I don't wanna, like, be, like, not have a big guy.

Roxy Manning: 00:12:48

I know. Once we've reached the hangry. The hangry point. Turning back.

Sasha Alexander: 00:12:53

Yeah.

Roxy Manning: 00:12:53

Yeah. Everybody out there, don't forget to rate. Subscribe and comment on your favorite podcast app so we can chat. Have more of these fun chats.

Sasha Alexander: 00:13:01

You're so sweet. Well, I love you. Thank you for doing this. Super fun, super fun. Always love to see you.